#2 Origin Story Pt 2- The One With The Pivot

Part 2. 01/20/2020, news Alert Kobe Bryant and daughter among 9 dead in Helicopter crash.

A little over 1 mile from where I was staying outside of Malibu, in a $10 million dollar home overlooking the mansion.

I was at the peak of my business, decked out in designer clothes I thought I had to wear to match my success. I was still on a high from hosting a successful retreat and training weekend.

Surrounded by what I thought was my dream. I lost it. I pictured Kobe and his daughter on their way to play the sport they loved.

And all I could think of was holding my babies. I remembered the hundreds of hours I spent with my dad on the court. And how Kobe and Giana would never get another hour.

I was an athlete my entire childhood. Basketball was my life. I wore #23 because Derek Anderson was my hero.

When I couldn’t get that number, you found me in #24 like Kobe.

Mamba mentality is a book that changed me.

I didn’t go to college, I could have gone for free and I chose to build differently.

I had read, at this point, over 150 business and self development books.

All of them containing secrets to “making it.”

I took pieces from each of them, and became a master student then a master teacher.

I had the 10 part morning routine. I worked out. I prayed. I invested hundreds of thousands into mentorship, certifications, courses, and continued education.

But not a single one of those books taught be the true meaning of success. Not one of them taught me how to be a present mother.

Every single book proclaiming… “you can have it all,” but as I say with my phone in my hand reading about Kobe gripping on to his baby in their final moments… all I could ask myself about everything I had learned about success was, “at what cost?”

Not a single one of my studies had pointed to defining what success actually meant to me as a mom.

In that moment, even before the world stopped, I decided... I would walk away from a 7 figure a year business, so I that I could make memories. And make up for the memories I had missed.

I flew over 65,000 miles in 2019. The most I had ever flown in one year, from the corporate job that required me to be gone all the time (that I walked away from) was 50,000 Ish miles.

How had I created a business that made me miss more of my kids growing up then the career I had left behind?

For what? Money? Fame?

Would any of it matter if I couldn’t hold my babies again?

So I asked myself…

If I were to be gone tomorrow, would I rather have changed the lives of thousands all over the world, or made positive change with the ones I love most?

I didn’t know how I would pivot, I just knew I didn’t want my kids to grow up and say. “My mom changed the world, but she was always gone.”

(Part 3. I went on a new quest (off of social media) to figure out my biggest question “can you truly have it all?”

Tomorrow, I’m sharing how I found the answer. )